there are some periods in our lives that we go through that prove to be a major learning experience but at the time that we are actually going through that process we fail to see it. there are other times when we know that we will eventualy benefit from something that may seem arduous at that moment but that is what we call faith.
ive gone through many such moments in my life. its not easy but ive taught myself that i must embrace what G-d has given me because He knows that i can handle it all. the worst part about plowing through certain obstacles is the people who get hurt in the process. its not something you can prevent and its not something you control. but by making that decision that you know what is best for you is ultimately not what you think it is. it is not selfish. i used to think that. i dont anymore.
it is my wish that while i am trying to be the best person i can be, by following my mind and not my heart, that others are able to see the goodness in it and not the pain. i dont like to see anyone hurting. those who are close to me should try to realize that the little hurt they may experience, by certain decisions i find myself forced to be making, will one day enlighten them to a brighter future. please do not be pained. allow me to bear that pain for you.

STONERS' JOKE
So there's this monkey up in the tree smoking a joint. He's enjoying himself just fine when a slithery, green lizards slithers to the footof the tree and notices the monkey. He looks up at the monkey and cocks his little head and asks what the monkey is doing up in the tree. The monkey replies that he is smoking a joint and invites the friendly lizard to join him. The lizard happily slithers up the tree and sits beside the monkey and the two of them share another joint. A short time later, after a few such joints, the lizard complains how thirsty he has become and informs the monkey that he would like to go take a drink from the stream to quench his thirst. Upon arriving at the neary stream, the lizard is so stoned that he falls head first into the water. A local crocodile rescues the lizard and inquires about his whereabouts. When the lizard tells the crock about how he and the monkey had been smoking those joints up in a tree, the crock decides he must find out for himself if this is in fact true. The crock glides up to the tree, where the monkey is still smoking his joint, to investigate. The monkey looks down and sees the crock eying him from the foot of the tree and says,"What the hell? How much can you drink already?"